You have captivated my heart, my sister, my bride;
You have captivated my heart with one glance of your eyes,
With one jewel of your necklace.
How beautiful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much better is your love than wine,
And the fragrance of your oils than any spice!
- Song of Solomon 4
Why does the captivation in marriage fade away? Is it just the inevitable death of romance in a relationship? The slow decline of our ability to communicate love? The way life’s difficulties and complexities just keep piling up? Or is it something much deeper?
As Gary Thomas says:
We have to rid ourselves of the notion that the difficulties of marriage can be overcome if we simply pray harder or learn a few simple principles. Most of us have discovered that these “simple steps” work only on a superficial level. Why is this? Because there’s a deeper question that needs to be addressed beyond how we can “improve” our marriage: What if God didn’t design marriage to be “easier”? What if God had an end in mind that went beyond our happiness, our comfort, and our desire to be infatuated and happy as if the world were a perfect place?
Ted Tripp agrees:
We were formed to be social beings, and all of the places where I need to grow and change – the development of my gifts, my understanding, my wisdom – doesn’t happen individually. It happens in community. In addition, one of God’s best tools for revealing and changing hearts is marriage. So it’s there that I actually become more of what God has designed me to be. You could argue that, in God’s design, the fundamental social building block of human culture is marriage.
Marriage matters. More than any other human institution.
That’s why we schedule quarterly CAPTIVATED seminars to address the growing challenges our marriages face – mostly from within. Three times a year couples will spend an evening together, exploring how God desires to reveal and change our hearts through our marriages. Once a year we’ll get away for an overnight retreat, allowing us to discover more about God’s will for our relationships.
